You act like you dress - transitions in our decorating
Do you remember your mother saying, something to the effect of, "you act like you dress"? Do you have days where all you want to wear is your old grey sweats with the holes in the sleeves, but that's too casual for all the meetings you have to attend at work. Or some days you feel so good you wear that short outfit and act sassy all day? Then (the worst part of all) you realize, your mother was right.
The really interesting this is that we do the same thing in our homes and how we dress them. I remember years ago, I started to paint all the trim in the house and all the doors. Months later, my husband and I were separated. When I confided in my neighbor, her response was very telling when she said "I wondered what was going on when you started to paint." I was trying to make things clean, to make my life neat again.
Another revelation was the art that I chose when I was single and living in my house for the first time. Without thinking, I choose art of women at rest, at peace. There was so much change and chaos around me, that I instinctively surrounded myself with art depicting how I wished it to be.
Have you ever wondered about the black phase that teenagers go through, when they wear all black; they want to point their rooms black. It isn't as macabre as it seems. They are experiencing an awareness of their individuality and too much color interferes with their ability to explore who they are. Color can be very intimidating. Fortunately, that phase passes! Amazing how intuitive they are...
One of my client's has made a most interesting transition in her life. Some years ago we did her office in a Southwest motif with American Indian elements. It was a place of solitude with a very giving spirit. At that time in her life she was president of every major group in town and organizer of every major event serving the community with unwavering commitment. She has now moved her office into a new space. She, herself, has moved into a new place also. Burned out by serving so diligently for so long, she is taking time for herself. Interestingly, in her new office, she has chosen a European theme with lots of mirrors. The space feels more self indulgent, more reflective for both her clients and herself. See, Mom was right.
Women face these transitions throughout their lives. The first and one of the least disruptive is when babies join the family. Most of the energy is focused on the baby so the change in her life is integrated fairly smoothly.
The child raising years usually include purchases that are made in and around the needs of the family. This is a time when things can go awry. Sometimes that is so much going on that it is difficult to devote time and money to decorating. Things get patched or thrown away. The result is an environment that lacks cohesion at the very least, and that lacks a sense of style at the worst. Unfortunately, the family will feel this scattered energy and it does effect everyone. You know how much better you feel when the house is clean. There are fewer arguments when things are organized. Poor design has the same effect.
Many women experience a major shift in how they feel about the house when the children leave home. Roles have changed so dramatically and for some there is a real loss of "who I am". The house is not satisfying because it no longer reflect the family because the family has changed. Now is a good time to take stock of where you are in life. Does your house reflect the chaos in your life?
Redecoration requires a bit on introspection. What has been neglected, what needs to be replaced? The design solutions may be quite simple.
For example, take all the accessories out of the room. Dust and polish the furniture. Now, only put back the most precious and appropriate items. One at a time, place each thing where it gives you pleasure. Now stop. Don't make a place for anything. Don't force a home for anything. Take the leftovers on to the next room. There may be a place for them there. Once you have made it through the house the things left over just don't live in your house anymore. This doesn't mean you have to throw them away - we'll deal with those options later.
Mom was right. The things that you surround yourself with impact and reflect how you feel about yourself and your life. Choose your home furnishings as carefully as you would choose your wardrobe. Good design can make a difference!
The really interesting this is that we do the same thing in our homes and how we dress them. I remember years ago, I started to paint all the trim in the house and all the doors. Months later, my husband and I were separated. When I confided in my neighbor, her response was very telling when she said "I wondered what was going on when you started to paint." I was trying to make things clean, to make my life neat again.
Another revelation was the art that I chose when I was single and living in my house for the first time. Without thinking, I choose art of women at rest, at peace. There was so much change and chaos around me, that I instinctively surrounded myself with art depicting how I wished it to be.
Have you ever wondered about the black phase that teenagers go through, when they wear all black; they want to point their rooms black. It isn't as macabre as it seems. They are experiencing an awareness of their individuality and too much color interferes with their ability to explore who they are. Color can be very intimidating. Fortunately, that phase passes! Amazing how intuitive they are...
One of my client's has made a most interesting transition in her life. Some years ago we did her office in a Southwest motif with American Indian elements. It was a place of solitude with a very giving spirit. At that time in her life she was president of every major group in town and organizer of every major event serving the community with unwavering commitment. She has now moved her office into a new space. She, herself, has moved into a new place also. Burned out by serving so diligently for so long, she is taking time for herself. Interestingly, in her new office, she has chosen a European theme with lots of mirrors. The space feels more self indulgent, more reflective for both her clients and herself. See, Mom was right.
Women face these transitions throughout their lives. The first and one of the least disruptive is when babies join the family. Most of the energy is focused on the baby so the change in her life is integrated fairly smoothly.
The child raising years usually include purchases that are made in and around the needs of the family. This is a time when things can go awry. Sometimes that is so much going on that it is difficult to devote time and money to decorating. Things get patched or thrown away. The result is an environment that lacks cohesion at the very least, and that lacks a sense of style at the worst. Unfortunately, the family will feel this scattered energy and it does effect everyone. You know how much better you feel when the house is clean. There are fewer arguments when things are organized. Poor design has the same effect.
Many women experience a major shift in how they feel about the house when the children leave home. Roles have changed so dramatically and for some there is a real loss of "who I am". The house is not satisfying because it no longer reflect the family because the family has changed. Now is a good time to take stock of where you are in life. Does your house reflect the chaos in your life?
Redecoration requires a bit on introspection. What has been neglected, what needs to be replaced? The design solutions may be quite simple.
For example, take all the accessories out of the room. Dust and polish the furniture. Now, only put back the most precious and appropriate items. One at a time, place each thing where it gives you pleasure. Now stop. Don't make a place for anything. Don't force a home for anything. Take the leftovers on to the next room. There may be a place for them there. Once you have made it through the house the things left over just don't live in your house anymore. This doesn't mean you have to throw them away - we'll deal with those options later.
Mom was right. The things that you surround yourself with impact and reflect how you feel about yourself and your life. Choose your home furnishings as carefully as you would choose your wardrobe. Good design can make a difference!
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